I don't want to live in alaska.

I stopped being able to focus on doing my work awhile go. At first I thought it was the interest in this new show I began watching on netflix but then I started not being able to concentrate on that the same way. I'm thinking caffeine without eating, plus night fall, plus dim lights and the lack of a proper room one are facilitating a bit of anxiety/depression.

I could of used my time this weekend a little more wisely lol. Maybe I'll feel better after I eat something more substantial? Hopefully my mother doesn't come home with fast food again. She's been doing that a lot lately. I also got some water to perhaps chase away the caffeine... and as it turns out I am thirsty!

Woes of the Day

I need to be happy. I need to be excited.. and I need to not be sick anymore!

I also need to restock a few essentials; lip balm, deodorant etc.

I really need to save money right now but I've found some loose bills in a bag of mine... It's important to save right now but, like Minnie said, I shouldn't always just deprive myself. What is money but paper anyway? I think it'll be ok to get a few small things for myselff... perk up my spirits a bit and maybe be more excited for the semester.
I'll still try to see how much I can get other people to pay for though :p

Concrete Catwalk vs. Spring 2012

I got concrete catwalk in the mail today! It really is a very bluish grey but I don't think it's bad at all. After I put it on however I felt a little out of fashion.. I mean I wanted this grey for a long time, and it's still pretty wintry out, but I think I'm more in the mood for spring than I realized. It's just such a dark polish.
The product is nice though and it went on pretty smooth despite my less than adequate nail painting skills lol.

I'll definitely look out for more colors by China Glaze!

P.s. still sick >.<

Haircuts and Illness

I got my haircut today finally! It's not really what I expected. A little girlier than what I wanted but it doesn't look bad or anything. Just, not my usual style. I'll rock it though. I definitely want to try it with different clothes because it doesn't go well with the bunzy, baggy, t-shirt, ripped jeans look. (not that I plan to wear that to school).

The woman used a lot of product and blow drying (for me anyway) and hopefully I don't have to do much of that for it to look decent. We'll see after I take a shower 2moro morning.!

Also.. I'm sick! T_T Sigh, I really hope I recover before school starts.

Passing The Day With Makeup

Spent the better part of this day playing with some of my moms cheap makeup brushes, eye shadow, mascara and my milani eye liner. I'm not going to write anything substantial about them yet though. So far, they are really soft with very good pigmentation. The tip quickly becomes pretty fat however, and it's not ideal for making fine lines.

I learned a lot about mascara today, about building it and it's behavior etc.! I think I would definitely benefit from a good eyelash curler. Also, my mom's eye shadows suck.. and so do her brushes.. really badly.. or maybe I just need some sort of primer.. But I think I prefer cream shadows. I just felt like you could see all the little eye shadow particles.. not smooth at all.

In addition, I think I'm also getting bettter at applying the right amount of the maybelline 24 hour lip color; not letting so much come out at once. I'd still like to try a different color but I've figure out how to make it look more appropriate for my face.

Milani :3

Today I got the two Milani Liquif'eye eye liner pencils I ordered on black friday. At first I was a little anxious about spending money on them but looking at the receipt I'm pretty glad. For 7.99 I got two classic, quality, eye liners that would normally cost me over 20 dollars including the shipping. Very satisfying buy.

I haven't tried them yet but I can't wait to. I'll definitely report back when I do! :3

P.S. They're paraben free! How great is that?

Presents?

It's the end of November now and we're moving on to the holly jolly holiday season. My stepdad is a bit on top of me about telling him what I want for Christmas so he has time to get it while it's on sale or find it for cheaper. Sigh, I really don't know what I want for christmas yet.

125

Even though I think I've been eating more junk, apparently I've reached my goal weight. Our scale is kind of old so I wish I had another one to confirm it on. However, my friend did try it out herself and said that it read her correct weight when she went on it.

Lol it (my goal weight) doesn't look quite like I thought it would but maybe that's because it's not really toned or anything. I wonder if I could lose a few more pounds because I've never been under this weight (since before middleschool). Very interesting! Hopefully it stays off!

SOSPMS

I'm feeling anxious again lately and more sensitive to my concerns about school, applying to them, and certain personal relationships (feeling a little alone as well).

I think it might be, in large part, the onset of PMS. :(

(I got a bloaty belly too but that might be from eating so much Thanksgiving food.) The distress always makes me feel compelled to read my long term horoscope forecasts which does help me put certain things in perspective sometimes. It also reminds me of what I need/should be doing in life.

Meditation

I read a few interesting internet guides/articles about meditation just now. I think I would really benefit from starting up again (with meditation) and sticking with it better this time lol.

Fritt

These fritters are getting less and less and even less tasty than they alrdy are. Ugh I hate BBQ flavored things >.<

Day Before T Day

Eatin BBQ flavored chicken fritters that are more fritters than chicken and watching the new TRON movie.

Waiting for minnie to call me back too.

I can't wait to get this application stuff over with again = (

Gotta remember to stop by the high school on MONDAY = (

My mom is prolly gonna come home later and complain about my room.

LOTION pt2

I take back what I said about giovanni and st. ives! I mean I might try Giovanni shampoo but I think for affordable lotion I'll try St. Ives whipped silk!

LOTION

I had just come out of the shower when i noticed that my skin was itchy and dry.. and I scratched it and made it even more irritated. It was mostly on my limbs, my excema bumps on my arms were prominent and a tad flakey and my legs were just ashy and irritated from scratching. In my desperation to relieve myself I grabbed some old Aveeno lotion.. and started covering one of my legs with it... However it turned out to be so gross smelling and it doesn't feel very nice. The smell is weird like unwashed bathing suit saturated in chlorine. It sucks because I just showered.. I'll have to hop in the shower 2moro and exfoliate (and get this gross aveeno off me).
I used my C.O. Bigelow lemon body cream for the spots on my arms as well as my other leg.

Basically, I need new body lotion. C.O. Bigelow is too small for daily use as well as expensive.. The Burt's Bees I have is also expensive and doesn't absorb well in my skin (the scent isn't terrible but it's not my favorite and it's very strong.

Hmm.. St. Ives seems uninteresting.. I'm considering Giovanni products.. I like the packaging and the natural ingredients including their choice of oils. Their shampoo seems to get good reviews as well.

Promenade Cosmetics

So I found this little cosmetics store (similar to Sally's) in the shopping center where I work! I had no idea it was there previously and don't know if it was new or if I just hadn't noticed it. It's a little dinky but supplies are supplies and they are pretty well stocked on hair stuff. It was also surprising to find that they sell quite a bit of perfumes/fragrances.. a lot of bad stuff but a few good, obscure ones.. which was interesting.

Mostly I'm happy to note that they sell Queen Helene Products! Notably, the Queen Helene masks! Today I got the mud pack masque and I'm considering getting the Mint Julep one the next time I stop by!

I'm using the mask for the first time right now and I'm really hoping it'll help with my pores.

Tr*sha Eggs

My manager smells like eggs!!! T___T It's already bad when people don't like you but then you smell literallly tooo.

I think I'm..scratch that! I'm definitely too sedentary lately..! Even though I do plenty of moving around at work.

I'm starting to get out of it though; getting the urge to get out and about again during the day.

libah

Alijah isn't around. He makes me feel pretty lonely sometimes = (. Like even if I had more friends to hang out with I'd still feel pretty down overall because I hadn't talked to him.

Waves of Unpleasantness

I don't think I like working at Pier 1 anymore.. = ( and I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to get in trouble.. well I have reason to believe that I will.

It sucks because I really just got a good hang on things.. and it's not the actual work that's bad or troublesome it's really just the annoying change in management. I seriously didn't have much in the way of problems before besides the occasional irate customer.

Not to mention, it's not as fun as it used to be... I don't see the people I like as often and the assistant managers that were there before have left. Both of them had a lovely sense of humor, were considerate, flexible, and good with customers and what they do.

I mean I know I should cut the new ones some slack but they are really weird to work with and have odd temperaments among other things. Thinking to myself now, I realize I wouldn't be complaining about them that much but I'm realizing how much they're behavior affects the tone of my work day.. (which hasn't been all that good lately..) The same goes for the new store manager. I hate when she is there.

I dunno. It's just been wave after wave of unpleasantness and I don't get paid that much so, although I could use the money, it's not that big a motivator.
....
However I know well enough that there are much worse places to work than Pier 1, even the way it is now, so for now that's keeping me there. Maybe I'll pick up an application at Barnes & Nobles though..

Hm.

Thinking about my future right now is like looking into a cheap kaleidoscope; interesting enough to keep you peering through but clearly fragmented..