I don't want to live in alaska.

I stopped being able to focus on doing my work awhile go. At first I thought it was the interest in this new show I began watching on netflix but then I started not being able to concentrate on that the same way. I'm thinking caffeine without eating, plus night fall, plus dim lights and the lack of a proper room one are facilitating a bit of anxiety/depression.

I could of used my time this weekend a little more wisely lol. Maybe I'll feel better after I eat something more substantial? Hopefully my mother doesn't come home with fast food again. She's been doing that a lot lately. I also got some water to perhaps chase away the caffeine... and as it turns out I am thirsty!

First Week Of Classes!

First week of school went relatively well and is continuing to be so far (knock on wood). Although I wanted very much to make a lot of new friends I realize that I have actually very little time to socialize. I don't resent the amount of school work / studying I have to do though (so far) and the subject matter in my classes is pretty enjoyable. Hopefully an honest effort can be made to stay on top of things and that the trend will continue when I have to take more math/science classes!

Orientated.

Went to freshman orientation yesterday. Everything went ok considering I was still sick as a dog and couldn't speak (lost my voice). It really sucked not being to talk more and with more people. The kids I ended up touring with (both current and new students like myself), were nice though and were very willing to stay in contact. One of the girls I got to talk to is going to be in my english class on Monday.
I also got to find out when a few events are and that there will be big club fair which I'm pretty excited about since I wasn't sure if there was one during the spring semester. Hopefully I can find someone to go with although I don't mind walking around by myself either.
Being 'in college' is surreal.. like it hasn't really hit me yet. I'm sure things will change and surprises will be had but I still feel like things will be ____________________________.

I want a BC banner for my room and maybe a hoodie but that stuff is expensive lol.

Financials...

Just paid my tuition for the Spring 2012 semester. Apparently BC doesn't accept VISA so I had to do an 'electronic funds transfer'. Because of my account type I can only pay out up to a certain amount at one time so I was worried there would be problems paying the amount due for tuition. I called the bank for help and stuff but I still hope nothing goes wrong.

Also I called the financial aid office about my FAFSA verification. It was a mistake putting my stepdad under my mom's 'household' because now they want his financial information. Yikes. (He has more money than my mom). However I called them again and told them that he's not actually my stepdad.. as in my mom isn't legally married to him, and they said that I have to redo my Dependent Verification worksheet :(. I don't know when I'm supposed to submit this by.. I should probably call again and find out. I wonder if just handing it in after orientation will be ok. :(

Catching Up

So a lot of blog worthy things have happened since my last post but I've failed to blog about them lol.
Around two weeks from now I will be starting classes and attending freshman orientation at BC (CUNY Brooklyn College). I'll be commuting there this semester (:P).. which is a bit of a battle lost but like most things, and hopefully for all the things that follow, I'll strive to make the best of it and be open to a good turn of events.
The commute is on the longer side but I'll look to it with an adventurous spirit. My brother got me a great new timbuk2 school bag. If you haven't heard of them they are notable brand that specializes in bags for commuters and students. They are a little pricey compared to, say, something you probably used in high school, but they are supposed to be quality, utility, and very durable with a hint of the creative/artistic. Mine is pretty cool looking as it was customized. It's the classic, medium size, messenger bag, model.
Besides that, I also got a, Takeya brand, glass water bottle. Again, a little more than some people would spend on a water bottle but I thought it would be a good investment because it's BPA free, environmentally friendly, chic looking, and doesn't effect the taste of the water (as plastic and stainless steal bottles do) which I'm pretty picky about. Plus, I really did need something to take with me to school. One downside, though, is that it's a little bit heavy.

Alright, back to events.!
On the 10th I went to my registration appointment at BC. I got photo student ID card as well as my schedule for classes, and bill for the semester. The damage wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.. actually tuition (after financial aid) cost about as much as I thought it would but I was still relieved to see the amount on paper.
It was a little over 1,000 dollars which is still nothing to scoff at but I think I've received Christmas presents that added up to more or the same as that.

I was a tad disappointed that there wasn't much socializing at the registration day. When waiting in the library for things to start, the other students didn't talk to each other. I thought about saying something but didn't and at the time I wasn't completely sure that they were all incoming freshman until later on.
At the end, I did manage to say 'Hi' and introduce myself to one girl when we were sent to another building to complete our registration. Her name was Carlina and she seemed really friendly and nice. I definitely regret not initiating contact with her sooner as well as not taking any contact information from her before I left.!

Sigh, time is going slow/fast motion right now. I'll be starting at BC in about two weeks but right now I just feel static, waiting. I'm going to pay my tuition after I call the financial aid office about the status of my FAFSA verification. I might actually qualify for a Pell grant (really hope so).
On the other hand I really hope nothing goes wrong and that they don't end up taking away any of my aid or something. I'm also going to inquire about the work study program. I don't plan on keeping my job at Pier 1 (much to my mother's dissatisfaction) but I'd like to work on campus, to earn money, but to also be more involved in the school and have more reasons to spend time there.
Really need to spring clean my room!

Touring BC! It's Gonna Happen..

OMG! So I actually did get a tour of Brooklyn College for tomorrow! We won't be walking around awkward and aimlessly! I had to send an email since a certain person at the offices of BC wasn't picking up the phone but they got back to me promptly (a real person) and I'm so glad I did. We have to meet on the second floor of the big, glass, West Quad Building at the Welcome Center. Tell them we were sent by 'shannon'. I'm so glad! I hope all goes well and I really hope my dad shows up on time!!!! It's at 10am. Wish me luck.

We are also going to visit my sister Julie and family later so maybe that'll take my parent's mind's off things if something unpleasant happens.

Like I had said in a previous post I got into Brooklyn College and City College (and also CSI, College Of Staten Island). I'm waiting on some registration packets with necessary enrollment forms and such. I'm still waiting on my SUNY notices of admission. Hopefully I hear something from them very soon!

Brooklyn College: The Final Battle

So I've gotten into Brooklyn College and City College, two of my top choices if you remember from some of my posts before. Go figure, things aren't going as well as I'd hoped or fantasized however, even though these schools are close and can't get much cheaper. Thanks for making my pre-college experience, distressing, traumatizing, and sad mother.

My dad is being as supportive as he can be though and we (including my mom and stepdad) are going to visit the Brooklyn College area this Friday. It seems like progress but I feel like it'll be really awkward. There are no official tours or freshman seminars that day so we'll just be putting around. With my dad it's fine but my mom and stepdad are not so easy going or flexible. They just have the biggest aversion to 'winging it' (so freaking up tight sometimes).

Hopefully something unexpected in a good way happens! I'm really hoping there would be.. I'm preparing myself for if I really have to stay here and commute but my dad seems eager to pull through for me and I really appreciate that. I feel a bit defeated but I don't want to give up.

There's just so much to do and so little time to do it. And I can't even do the necessary crap I have to until some major decisions are made.. but seriously I dont have time to wait around for those!. Sigh.. I'd like to fast forward a month.

Apps In.. Crisis?

I've pretty much finished all my SUNY applications. I almost had a meltdown just before because I thought that one of the schools needed more letters of recommendations than I had. Fortunately, I looked some more and found that that was just for graduate programs. Even though I've done all I can do and can pretty much say my application process is finished I still feel very nervous.. in part because I submitted everything kind of last minute.. Even though the application deadline is today, December 1st, feels like some of the schools had already been sending out notices of admission. T_T

I wonder if I made a strong enough case justifying my sub par high school performance..It makes me nervous because I don't think I did. The bright side might be that I won't be too sad if I don't get accepted anywhere good (anywhere that I actually want to be).

SOSPMS

I'm feeling anxious again lately and more sensitive to my concerns about school, applying to them, and certain personal relationships (feeling a little alone as well).

I think it might be, in large part, the onset of PMS. :(

(I got a bloaty belly too but that might be from eating so much Thanksgiving food.) The distress always makes me feel compelled to read my long term horoscope forecasts which does help me put certain things in perspective sometimes. It also reminds me of what I need/should be doing in life.

Day Before T Day

Eatin BBQ flavored chicken fritters that are more fritters than chicken and watching the new TRON movie.

Waiting for minnie to call me back too.

I can't wait to get this application stuff over with again = (

Gotta remember to stop by the high school on MONDAY = (

My mom is prolly gonna come home later and complain about my room.

Apps Not In..

I texted Minnie last night about me worrying about college and life and she called me this morning to say that we'll talk about it tonight. That makes me feel a little relieved. I really wanna get stuff done but I seriously need help. I hope it's not too much for her.

It's quite.. idk.. unnerving(?) not knowing where I'm going to be in a few months. You could say that I'll be away no matter what.. at an upstate SUNY or in the CUNY but I still have the very unassured feeling that things will go wrong.

Woe

I'm back to feeling like I can't get too excited about college again. I kept getting amped about Brooklyn College and I made plans concerning if I had to go there (out of necessity) but there is a pretty reasonable chance that I will not so I guess I'm trying to brace myself for that. I just reaaaally don't want to be bummed or less excited about school as I could be if I don't get in. My SUNY apps aren't squared yet and that is troubling me too.. (since I probably won't get into Brooklyn College..that is my best bet).

*SIGH. Things will work out.. >.>

I'm considering saving even more of my money now so I can buy things during college.. I mean.. considering I probably don't NEED anything at the moment..It might be worth just saving it to have it later.

Work is going ok *knock on wood*. I'm still a little worried about my college applications because those aren't done yet (the essay part). I'm also having trouble 'budgeting' sort of because I want to allot so much money to school and to life savings that I don't have any money left over for myself.. but there are some things I would like to get.. while I do have some income of my own.. because I might not when school rolls around.

"If you strive to be RICH: Then you should pay yourself 15 - 20 %"

So, I've been thinking about savings accounts again.! And after I buy my 32gb Zune I will start putting the bulk of my earnings away. I'm seriously considering using ING Direct savings, American Express, or Discover.

My problem is, although I want Discover and their 1.10% APY, they have a $500.00 minimum to start.. which I don't think I have.. and even if I do, they have $50 minimum deposit which I don't know if I could keep up with. Ideally I'd like to save over 10 years.. $50 dollars weekly. But since I'll be going to school I don't know if I'll have a job or a way to get that money. Same problem if I wanted to put $100 a month into savings although it's not impossible to do if one was working.

I really want to be consistent with savings and not miss 4 years of savings while I'm in school.

ING Direct and American Express have a %1.00 APY which isn't horrible at all, plus no minimum and I think no fees. One of those or something like 'Ally' bank would probably be more ideal.

Jonesing For College

*SIGH MY FRIEND IS AWAY, IN SCHOOL!. and I is here. I don't want to be working.. I want to go to college already! I want to learn new stuff, take notes, listen to lectures, and read shit! and yeah.. all that jazz. live away. have things set in motion!

More Brooklyn College Babble

OMG. So I checked the website and I do not need a essay/supplement.. thank god (although this might be a bad thing too). Furthermore my SAT scores seem like they make the cut just about, with and without my writing score being included.. My math is JUST high enough that if I got in I wouldn't have to take the C.U.N.Y. Skills Assessment Test! Thank the stars, I do not want to take more tests. Really hope I get in x.x

Early November

OMG! According to the CUNY site I should know if I got into any of the CUNY Schools (BROOOOOKLYYNNN COLLEGGEEE!!!!) in early November.. *sigh Omg. OMGGGGG.. that's sooner than expected. I'm happy about that but I just keep like.. flipping back and forth.. between thinking I have a chance to thinking I have absolutely none. My grades aren't that great.. and there's no essay as far as I know.. but my resume seems like it might be kinda good/decent. *SIGH

Brooklyn College! City Housing? It's Coming Soon..

So I was trying to seriously think about making living arrangements for if I got into Brooklyn or City College. I probably should because it really is coming, and moving/finding housing is no simple business. Min said I could live with her if I ended up going to BC since she is seriously considering getting an apartment near there...Although she won't have a place until April I think and I would start school in January.

In case my dad doesn't pull through with off campus housing I checked out the new BC dorm. It gets points for being new but it's scarily plain and boring and sparse... literally no tiny bit of decoration anywhere in any part of the building. The rooms also seem pretty small and annoyingly laid out (even for a dorm). I could deal with it if I had to but I can see myself suffering in that space (the dorm in general).

I checked out EHS () and found an alternative in the St. George Weller dorm. From the video/pictures it looks amazingly decorative, upbeat and warm, with decent room sizes/layouts and amenities. EHS, as you can imagine is pretty expensive still but for the SPRING 2012 semester it seems it's around the same rate (for triple room) as the boring, new Brooklyn College dorm. It's a little farther though from the school than I would like but such a nice environment seems worth it.


ROOM RATES ST. GEORGE WELLER:

I was having doubts for awhile but I definitely think that Brooklyn College is my first choice school. I really hope I get in and that I'm not being too optimistic by thinking I can/might. It's still good I've reinforce this thought though because if I do get accepted I can really get on the ball about applying/finding housing. It seems too good to be true but I seriously want to get a space in this dorm!!!!

St. George Weller Student Housing (Video + Photos + Info) (EHS site)

Anxiousness

I feel very anxious now. Almost like when I have too much caffeine! It might be in part because I don't know when I'm working this week, what my hours are. There's a place where we (the employees) can check it online, which I think is really cool, but there's nothing on there yet. I have a feeling they just might ask me to work tomorrow though.

I hung out with my dear friend Che today! We had an odd but overall good day. I decided that I might try transferring to S.U.N.Y. Binghamton (she did too) and I'm still looking at other schools. I had originally planned to just graduate from whatever C.U.N.Y. or S.U.N.Y. school I got into but now I'm considering making plans to transfer to something else.

But who knows what things will be like!! I'll really just have to go, and experience, and see. I still have no freaking clue what my major should be or is gonna end up being.

Really anxious/restless right now.. maybe the tea I had had more caffeine than one would think. Agghhh..